Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
