I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
