god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
