I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
