Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
