I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
