Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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