Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
