If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
