Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
