i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And then the night went full on bisexual.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
