We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
