I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We are all done wearing pants today
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
