The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just invented taco cereal.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
