it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize