I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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