i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize