My first STD was from a foam party
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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