the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
