is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
