I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
