I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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