I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
