Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
