so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
