erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
