Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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