Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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