somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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