You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
