I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
