haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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