I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
