1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
