I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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