Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You can't special order awesome
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
