I wannas sexs uuuuu
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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