You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
