What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
