guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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