Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
