Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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