No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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