Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
