my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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