So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
