i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
