Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
