if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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