Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
