Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
