Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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