idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
