We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
