High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You have to summon your inner elephant
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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