worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize