I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
