omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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