I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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