I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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