His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
