my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I had to cum in my sink.
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