Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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