This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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