ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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